Pouring Myself Out to God

I had some crazy turn of events happen, that just don't happen normally to me, and it put me back a few years into an old sinful, addictive nature. The only explanation I could come up with is that it was a direct attack on me by Satan. I really haven't studied the whole demon possesion, and probably nobody really knows anyhow, but I do consider this to be an unseen spiritual war that I was caught up in.

I considered Jesus' teachings in Mark 9:28,29:

28And when he was come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, Why could not we cast him out?

29And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.

So Ry and me did a week fast. And wow it's amazing how fasting short circuits sins. The flesh becomes weak and does not even desire most sins. God still allowed me strength to work hard at the day job, and able to study homework for math and astronomy class.

Not only that, but during that week at work, there was a very large customer at my job, who's order had a mistake that was going to end up putting the customer out of business. The order had a 4 week lead time, which they waited for the wrong order to come to them. Which, considering the industry they were in would put them out of business, unless they were to be able to have the correct product in a matter of two days--but it's a custom item with a four week lead time. I went home pretty shook up about the customer would now go out of business due to the mistake. I had small-group after work, so Ry and John were praying for me about this issue. I also lost some sleep, thinking through all the details. Finally, I was able to surrender the situation to our sovereign God, that this customer's future is in His hands; to which I promptly fell asleep.

The next morning, driving to work, I was praying the situation to God. Amazingly, the manufacturer empthazied with the situation, the order was able to be made in one day and ship out next day air to the customer--Amazing! From that situation, my field members were praising me like crazy, to which I need to be very careful to allow pride to go to my head, when it was all God's glory. I did nothing but surrender like a wus to God's almighty strength. I do not want to be like Moses whom stole God's glory for water coming from the rock.

Another revelation hit me during the fast. I considered Jesus' quoting of Deuteronomy to Satan:

Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

This quote hit me with new and fresh meaning. I marveled in wonder at this profound mystery. People make excuses to eat three meals a day, perhaps it's unhealthy, etc.. But it hit me that food is the least important nourishment for us. My soul needs God's word to live. Only God has the power to kill me or make me sick. I need to eat Bible as if I will die of malnourishment. The meaning of food, it's just a symbol of true reality. The true reality is that my soul needs to be fed spiritual food: living water and bread of heaven.

Consider Psalm 63:

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you on my bed and meditate on you in the watches of the night.

Do I want to praise food with joyful lips? Or do I want to praise God with joyful lips that eat true fat and rich food? I'm not talking about McDonald's, I'm talking about being extreme, radical Christian that wants transformation into the health of likeness of Jesus. Fasting is just one way to desire to see God's hand powerfully like a rabid maniac who is soldout for Christ.